Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
