that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
