You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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