how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
