he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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