Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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