I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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