she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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