u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
