Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
