so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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