i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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