why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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