Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
