I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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