What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
birth control should be required to get into college
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
