i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
