I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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