While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
