if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
