So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
