I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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