i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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