She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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