Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
