put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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