So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
