i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
