whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
