You really coming over, don't trick.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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