I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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