my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
