just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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