Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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