i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
