I am in a vortex of obligation.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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