I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
