yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
