I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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