oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
