I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
