no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
