yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
