Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
