Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Panties = found
Randomize
