For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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