god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
pray to the hookup gods
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
