As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
