If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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