I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
