I'm jealous of your bromance
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We left an ass print on the piano.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
