Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
