I heard we made out
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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