you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
